I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
