I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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