if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
