I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
