umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
he was CRYING into my vagina
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
