try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
