Sacagawea was the original milf.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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