Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
