By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
