What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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