the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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