so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
