I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
