I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Randomize
