You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
