I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
