If that was your dad, he is hot
Four minutes until I can fart!
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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