when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he was CRYING into my vagina
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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