If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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