I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
