Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
