Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
