I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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