I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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