she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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