tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
