Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I wish I could punch you in the face.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize