More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
