Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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