I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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