i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Itβs like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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