Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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