i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
