Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I have demons in me.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
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