I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
