why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
splinters make it hard to masturbate
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
