Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
