He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
