I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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