he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
