I like to think it a success when the cops are called
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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