i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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