Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
