I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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