yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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