32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Well I just put wine in my tea
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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