Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
