I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
