He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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