Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
