Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize