So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
