i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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