she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
