Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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