she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
