I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize