great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize