You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
