Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
