Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
