just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
