just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm both gender and math confused
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
