it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize