I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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