I wish I only lived at night.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
