susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
