In the future we'll all be gay
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
