Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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